reflections on crushes past

“To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven.”

- Ecclesiastes 3

I know that Ecclesiastes 3 speaks about TIMING. The passage above has been used, re-used, and overused in everything from children’s books (the one they sell at Book Wagon is lovely, by the way) to editorials, sermons and songs. Rightly so, because timing is important and not a lot of us are patient. We want what we want when we want it, isn’t it so?

I was walking to work this morning when this thought struck me: every season in a person’s life presents him (or her) with various encounters that, whether through single instance or prolonged exposure, serve to teach, mold, or direct him into the person he is meant to become.

We’ve all had our fair share of friends, lovers, rivals, enemies, and acquaintances. Just the other week, I was feeling a bit sentimental about the men (or the more apropos, "boys") who’ve touched my life. Yes, yes. These are crushes past. Many of them are current friends.

In their unique way, each one has taught me that:

There are the “BBs” of your life that teach you that sometimes it’s best to take interest in other people, and to not be self-absorbed.

There are also the “N'est Pas” who show you that love is never forgotten, and that friendship can withstand the test of time. Of course, he also taught me to abhor that stupid song, More Than You’ll Ever Know. ;)

Then there are the “Jameses” who inspire you to try things you’ve never tried before, and prove that prom dates can be friends and that your friends can be your heroes.

There are the “Puffies” of your life who show you the meaning of romance, dare you to experience the “art” of life, and make you realize that you are stronger than you ever thought you were.

Then there are the “Regs” who teach you unconditional love, and show you the beauty of an apology.

Each of them in their own time. Whether they know it or not, they’ve all taught me valuable lessons in life. Some encounters hurt, and some blistered. Still, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Because, as Ecclesiastes puts it, there is “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, .. a time to embrace and a time to refrain, .. a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate.”

Or for those who prefer a more contemporary philosophy:

“The heart may freeze/ and it can burn/ The pain will ease/ if I can learn/ there is no future/ there is no past/ I live this moment as my last./ There’s only us/ There’s only this:/ Forget regret/ or life is your to miss/ No other road/ no other way No day but today.” (Rent)

I am grateful for every one of them, because through them I've gained a better appreciation of life (and love). More importantly, through them I’ve realized that no man can ever “complete” me or serve validate my existence. However, they CAN make your life more beautiful, just by being in it. Ü